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Christmas Quotes (30)
 
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Welcome to your source of short quotes. Smile & Enjoy!
 
 

Ellinor at thequotesgarden.comI have collected quotations, and short funny jokes and oneliners

since 1999 to use for samples of fonts displayed on Font Garden, so this site has been in my mind for ages now! Most quotations are fun, but some comes with a bit of thought. You can rate them and submit your own. If you register you can view all your own submitted quotes and view their rank to keep track of them. If you don't want to register you can use the contact form to submit new quotations.
 

Quotations from famous persons tends to be more popular so they have received their own page here >>

 
 
NEWEST QUOTATIONS
 
   

"Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead."

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!

Christmas isn't a season. It's a feeling.

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature.

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know… the birth of Santa.

 
 
HIGHEST RATED QUOTES
 
   
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

If my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

Anything you say will be held against you. ... "tits"...

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

God would not have made me this creative if he wanted me to cook and clean.

I'm just a raggady ann living in a Barbie doll world!

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution?? I sent them to her dad.

Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!

 
 
 
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