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Christmas Quotes (30)
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NEWEST QUOTES:
Anonymous if unknown
"Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead."
Anonymous
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Johnny Carson
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Anonymous
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Anonymous
Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.
Anonymous
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Shirley Temple
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Andy Rooney
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.
Charles N. Barnard
The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!
Edna Ferber
Christmas isn't a season. It's a feeling.
Andy Rooney
The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature.
Larry Wilde
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Bob Hope
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
Bart Simpson
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know… the birth of Santa.
Bing Crosby
Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'.
Bernard Manning
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Erma Bombeck
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Bart Simpson
Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
Joan Rivers
The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Bob Hope
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things -- not the great occasions -- give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Charles Dickens
Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"
W. J. Cameron
There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries.
Dave Barry
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
Bill Watterson - Calvin & Hobbes
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
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